he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
