what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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