I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
