I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
