i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I still have a little drunk in my system
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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