im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
