Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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