I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
