just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
