Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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