The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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