Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
