her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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