You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
