he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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