He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
