I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
