no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
