Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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