so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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