I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
