living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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