eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
