I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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