If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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