thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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