The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
