The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
