Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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