Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
