So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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