Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize