she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
