I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
only you would photoshop your dick
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
