i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
