That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize