Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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