I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize