i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
