We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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