You're so nebulous sometimes
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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