As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
