I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
