He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize