you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
