Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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