barbara walters just said penis...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize