I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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