My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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