I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
