You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
