Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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