Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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