She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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