Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
