Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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