I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
