why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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