Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
