We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
